Religion

Since its Sunday I want to talk a little about religion and how I feel. Lately I have been on a little bit of a journey trying to figure out what religion I fall under or if need to fall under one religion at all. I have been asking myself a million other surrounding questions. All of this came on by two things; one I am in a history class taught by an amazing teacher and I have been learning about every religion on the face of this earth and all the history behind each. Second, is my boyfriend and the family I nanny for. My boyfriend was born in a religious community where their families had moved to Alaska so that they could raise their children in a Christian community. So he has a lot of knowledge and I know that he is the way he is because of his religious upbringing. He has strayed from his upbringing, but it made me question what I believe, has made me want to become educated so i can make the decision of becoming Christian and raising my children Christian. One of the families I nanny for is very Christian and is very passionate about it so it makes me that much more interested. 

When I was younger my mother brought us to a christian church, but at the time I wanted nothing to do with it. It only made me more angry and decided very early on  I wanted nothing to do with it. I blamed God for everything bad that happened in my life and did not understand why someone supposedly so good would allow so many bad thing to happen in the world. Also I saw a lot of the people that went to my small church go to church on Sunday and never practice what they preach. I saw a lot of them as hypocrites and thought I did not want to be a part of it.   Also on one of my very first times going to church they talked about how everyone that was not Christian was going to hell. That made absolutely no sense to me how could someone that is a really good person and rarely done anything bad in their life go to hell and someone that has been bad their whole life and towards the end of their life ask for gods forgiveness goes to heaven. I still have not really understood that and Im still searching for that answer.

I always thought religions were there to make you a better person and if you broke down any particular religion they are almost exactly the same in that they all have the common priniciples. They make you a better person. We focus so much on the differences and not how they are the same.

Anyways I have been going to church and learning as much as I can. I purchased my first bible and am excited to start reading it as soon as summer starts. I also have been listening to the radio. I recommend this to anyone and everyone that is even the slightest bit curious. It really helps me, because any question I have I usually hear it answered on the radio by the sermons or the guest speakers. They also have people that call in ask questions or have people talk that are historians, scientists and anything else you can think of.  The pastors or preachers on the radio are the best of the best. 

I have learned a lot already and its interesting how me and Joe sometimes are arguing about something like as an example spanking children as a way of discipline and how we feel about it and then on the radio I hear what the bible says about spanking and it really is a manual on how god thinks we should live and what we should do in all these different areas of our lives and in different scenarios. So far so good, but I want to get all the information I can and make the decision for my self. I am treating it like my most Important class in my life and I'm taking in everything I can, but I m also asking questions and being a little critical.