Last night was the first time I ever pulled an all nighter in college! I procrastinated for the first time and I am never doing that again. I almost cried twice. I was falling asleep as I was writing. Thankfully I had a little help from Joe. I had to do a book analyisis and it was a lot harder that i thought. I had less than two hours of sleep! I also have work tonight so I am probably going to need some caffeine or something.

Oh summer...I am so happy its so close..

I just want to lay on the beach and relax with not a worry in the world!

College

I really love college! College has been the best thing to happen to me in my life! I really love learning and I love how college classes are. Most of the teachers are really passionate and very knowledgeable! Im double majoring in psychology and child and adolescent studies and I love both so much! I learn so much everyday and I can apply it to my real life. Everyday I am learning new things that are helping me in all areas of my life. 

Right this second  I am reading and doing a book analysis on Reviving Ophelia which is a book on adolescent girls. I really wished I read this book while or before I was a teenager haha. It makes me laugh because all the stories are so true and the advice is great. If you have a teenage daughter or if your daughter is about to be a teenager i highly recommend especially if you are having any problems which most do. It talks about everything from mother-daughter relationships, culture influences, parenting styles, divorce, peer pressure and everything you can think of. 

I only have this week and next week left of school and then I have finals. Im really happy because I have been working really hard this semester and I'm really happy about getting a summer vacation when I can focus on saving money and having FUN! I have class everyday and I'm never doing that again. Ever since I started college I have only gone to class tues and thurs, but since there were no classes available I thought I could handle going to class everyday that was a huge mistake it has really tired me out especially since my mon wed fri class starts at 9am meaning I have to leave my house at like 8ish...yuck!!!

Work Shmork

Work work work some more. I work at Macaroni Grill and I really do not  like working at a job that is leading to no where. Every time I work there it really drains me emotionally and physically and I do not know why. I also baby sit three different families. Im a little stressed over my summer situation. I want to make more so I can save some money, but i do not know how I am going to schedule it all out. I would ideally want to work full time as a Nanny, but the family I was originally going to do that with has a change of plans and I do not know if it is going to pan out how I hoped. Do you ever just want to quit everything and just become a bum or move back in with your parents and live off them completely. A part of me really wants to be back in high school where I had no responsibility, but I also had little freedom and no privacy. Freedom and Privacy versus Responsibility its a tough one.  I can not wait to finish college and go into the field I am truly passionate about!!!

Religion

Since its Sunday I want to talk a little about religion and how I feel. Lately I have been on a little bit of a journey trying to figure out what religion I fall under or if need to fall under one religion at all. I have been asking myself a million other surrounding questions. All of this came on by two things; one I am in a history class taught by an amazing teacher and I have been learning about every religion on the face of this earth and all the history behind each. Second, is my boyfriend and the family I nanny for. My boyfriend was born in a religious community where their families had moved to Alaska so that they could raise their children in a Christian community. So he has a lot of knowledge and I know that he is the way he is because of his religious upbringing. He has strayed from his upbringing, but it made me question what I believe, has made me want to become educated so i can make the decision of becoming Christian and raising my children Christian. One of the families I nanny for is very Christian and is very passionate about it so it makes me that much more interested. 

When I was younger my mother brought us to a christian church, but at the time I wanted nothing to do with it. It only made me more angry and decided very early on  I wanted nothing to do with it. I blamed God for everything bad that happened in my life and did not understand why someone supposedly so good would allow so many bad thing to happen in the world. Also I saw a lot of the people that went to my small church go to church on Sunday and never practice what they preach. I saw a lot of them as hypocrites and thought I did not want to be a part of it.   Also on one of my very first times going to church they talked about how everyone that was not Christian was going to hell. That made absolutely no sense to me how could someone that is a really good person and rarely done anything bad in their life go to hell and someone that has been bad their whole life and towards the end of their life ask for gods forgiveness goes to heaven. I still have not really understood that and Im still searching for that answer.

I always thought religions were there to make you a better person and if you broke down any particular religion they are almost exactly the same in that they all have the common priniciples. They make you a better person. We focus so much on the differences and not how they are the same.

Anyways I have been going to church and learning as much as I can. I purchased my first bible and am excited to start reading it as soon as summer starts. I also have been listening to the radio. I recommend this to anyone and everyone that is even the slightest bit curious. It really helps me, because any question I have I usually hear it answered on the radio by the sermons or the guest speakers. They also have people that call in ask questions or have people talk that are historians, scientists and anything else you can think of.  The pastors or preachers on the radio are the best of the best. 

I have learned a lot already and its interesting how me and Joe sometimes are arguing about something like as an example spanking children as a way of discipline and how we feel about it and then on the radio I hear what the bible says about spanking and it really is a manual on how god thinks we should live and what we should do in all these different areas of our lives and in different scenarios. So far so good, but I want to get all the information I can and make the decision for my self. I am treating it like my most Important class in my life and I'm taking in everything I can, but I m also asking questions and being a little critical.

First Ever

This is my first journal entry ever! I am very excited to tell you about everything that is going on in my life. I always feel like I wish I had someone or something to tell eveything that is going on and everything that Im learning and now I do. I hope I can be as detailed and truthful as possible and I think that will come with experience in writing. 

So last night we had a lot of people over at the house and it was a lot of fun! Sometimes when your in a relationship you can focus a little to much on your relationship with your boyfriend and not hang out with your girl friends. It made me realize how much I truly miss hanging out with the girls more. I need to have both. 

So this morning I woke up a little early as usual then we went to original pancake house and then came home and took like a three hour nap! Seriously when I have something to do like a book report that I should be focusing all my attention on or else I am not going to finish it by Thursday...I fall asleep, but when I have nothing to do I cant fall asleep. 

One other thing I learned is it is so great to see the people around you happy. Me and my boyfriend Joseph have been together for almost 9 monthes officially (we dated for 6 months broke up for 7 monthes and have been dating ever since) and his brother and our othr roommate have witnessed our relationship grow and I know a part of them wants what we have. So I love hearing all about their encounters with girls and what they think and they sometimes ask what I think. Well this last week they both have found someone they are interested in. Best part is they are both my friends and it made me so happy to seem them get a little lovey. So I am excited to see how this all pans out.  

Lastly I baby sat Knolton (an 8yr. old boy) it was fun as always. We went to diner and a movie at Irvine Spectrum. I got home pretty late and went straight to sleep. I feel like a failure in that on my first day of having a blog i did not finish my entry and publish it before the end of the day. :(